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How To Forgive


This is often the most difficult part of going through a betrayal or extensive hurt. If you have something that you feel has been done to you unfairly, the scars of that act can follow you around for life. If you are working with a professional to deal with that, you most likely have decided how you will address your situation already from a professional standpoint. If not, it can be very easy to slip into a habit of blaming and feeling unworthy. This makes forgiveness all the more important, not for the person who wronged you but so that you can feel better yourself. This paper looks at how that process of forgiveness can be achieved.

  • Identify the Person Whom has wronged you
  • This is not always as simple as it may sound. Many people may be guilty or maybe just one to whom you would rather not assign the blame. Still, you should think long and hard about who it is you want to express this feeling to. Think about them in as much detail as possible before you move onto the next step so that you can gain as much benefit from this process as there is to be had.

  • Consider why forgiveness is necessary
  • Having analyzed the person you need to forgive, think about the wrong that they have done to you. Describe that to yourself in detail. It can feel like you should ignore it or gloss it over but this will make any forgiveness that you give feel incomplete. It can erode over time and you may find yourself with feelings of resentment that eventually spill over to affect your life even more. Examine even the uncomfortable parts.

  • Put your feelings into words
  • It helps to write down how you feel. Sometimes the person you mean to forgive can never be spoken to because they are deceased or on the run. You may never be able to get an apology from them but this is not why the process must be completed. Whether they will ever read what you have said or not write it out. You can read it a few times when you are done and then symbolically burn it if this makes you feel more at peace.

There may be a few more steps you need to undertake if the hurt that was don was especially profound. Even so, these steps will help you start the process.

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